Candle making. Jewelry. Glass painting. Multiple direct sales companies. The list goes on and on.
I am what you might call a half starter. I am someone who tends to never follow through with the projects I start. Even now, as I type this, my bathroom lacks a fresh coat of paint on half of the walls. I have a front door that is a quarter of the way refinished. I have a load of laundry in the washer that will have to be restarted in the morning because it never got put into the dryer.
Plain and simple, I suck.
I have the heart. I have passion. I am motivated to try new things and explore new possibilities. What I lack is the dedication and the drive to continue with my endeavors. But why?
I'm sure that there are numerous reasons, but I think it boils down to one thing. All of those projects that I half started were not the right fit for me.
Starting Boutique 573 created the same apprehensive feeling that all of my other projects did. There is something about this adventure that is different. If I had to take a stab in the dark, I would say that it is I want more.
When you take on as many projects as I have, you begin to feel the failure mounting on your shoulders. It slowly travels from your shoulders to your lungs. There it fills every tiny little crevice that it can sink itself in to. The final result is feeling like you are drowning.
Imagine drowning in failure. You can not breathe because of the amount of doubt that fills you. You can not move because of the amount of stress bearing down on your shoulders. The worst part about it, in your head, everyone can see your failure. Everyone knows you can not succeed. It is in those moments that you want to run away and hide from the looks, stares, and unrelenting fear.
You have that option. You can run. You can turn yourself into a coward, that gives in to the fear. Or you can fight your feelings of worthlessness.
I chose to do that later.
I have been running this business for two years now. One thing that I have learned is that I am a shitty business person. However, I'm learning. Every day I'm reading something, doing something, trying to fix some thing so that I can improve my business.
I refuse to drown in my failures. I could insert so many motivational quotes right here, but they are not needed. You can see my point without using someone else words to convey my message.
Do not drown. You must rise above your doubt. Learn from your mistakes and continue to grow. It is never going to be perfect, accept that. However, the satisfaction you will get from trying, and succeeding is worth every ounce of doubt and fear that you get to shed.